WE HAVE ALREADY DIED TOGETHER

WE HAVE ALREADY DIED TOGETHER

I can’t experience you except as something I want

As real flesh to be kissed, touched, caressed, licked, fucked, absorbed, needed

You are me in terrible desperation
looking at a clock ticking toward impossibility

existence with her clothes ripped off
naked, crying and wanting to be raped

You are me in a horrible state of lust and need that almost splits the fragile carcass

and drains the life force  like a vampire or a black hole or a crazy chick with a razor blade

I can’t say your name without feeling like I have to lie to everybody.

I can’t be in the same country as you without looking into some awful hate and love.

I can’t be anything that isn’t you or think of you without thinking everything

We have already died together and my flesh won’t allow me to tell the lies that keep me sane.

I can’t be on this earth casually with you and I can’t live with what we really are and aren’t.

I can’t be anything without pressing my mouth to yours and breathing you until neither of us exists

There is no more room for pretending

We have already died together