I couldn’t replace you. How could I ever fucking replace you? how can you ever again find the amazing perfection of finally experiencing everything you wanted with a woman you were in love with for a dozen years before you ever touched her? What feeling is left after losing so much except the most bitter desolation? Desolation that has clouded and ruined relationship after relationship with replacement pieces in the big puzzle. Relationships with women who were wonderful in their own ways. Women who were sexy and satisfying and intriguing and angry and funny and warm and charming but not YOU!!!!!!! just not you…….
I curse the fucking world that has brought me to this pass. 50 years old and living without love in spite of having every opportunity but being dragged back into the bitter, beautiful, painful, awful, desperate LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU.