Saturday, August 11, 2012



And yet she will suck it because that is the way these things work. When somebody beats the fuck out of you and says, “Suck my cock or I’ll cut your fucking throat,” then you suck the fucking cock unless you have some crazy death wish. She will suck it and he will quickly cum down her throat because she’s crying and squirming and choking and puking and that turns him on. And when he’s finished, he’ll clean the cum off her face with a steady shower of piss.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”


Then fell on Merlin a great melancholy;
He walked with dreams and darkness, and he found
A doom that ever poised itself to fall,
An ever-moaning battle in the mist,
World-war of dying flesh against the life,
Death in all life and lying in all love,
The meanest having power upon the highest,
And the high purpose broken by the worm.

Merlin and Vivien

Alfred Lord Tennyson 


I couldn’t replace you. How could I ever fucking replace you? how can you ever again find the amazing perfection of finally experiencing everything you wanted with a woman you were in love with for a dozen years before you ever touched her? What feeling is left after losing so much except the most bitter desolation? Desolation that has clouded and ruined relationship after relationship with replacement pieces in the big puzzle. Relationships with women who were wonderful in their own ways. Women who were sexy and satisfying and intriguing and angry and funny and warm and charming but not           YOU!!!!!!! just not you…….

I curse the fucking world that has brought me to this pass. 50 years old and living without love in spite of having every opportunity but being dragged back into the bitter, beautiful, painful, awful, desperate LOVE I FEEL FOR YOU.